I dont feel right in Nightshift and I dont feel loved enough in other guilds :(
Let me try and explain whats been happening...
I joined NS thinking I was a pretty good healer, I went and raided 10man Ulduar with them and didn't hear any complaints (as I wasn't on ventrilo I had to make up my own tactics and do whatever I thought was right as no one told me anything) and then I was stuck with the choice of staying resto and not getting Azzy in the guild, or trying to be elemental and letting Azzy get the resto spot in NS. Obviously I chose to get azzy in, he has been an inspirational guy in my wow life, and although he wont ever admit it, he has taught me indirectly how to be a better shaman. I have just got him back, so I wasnt going to lose him by going off and joining a proper guild without him.
So I went elemental as main spec... After 1 party with some NS guys I realised this was futile. I CANNOT put out anywhere near the kind of dps these guys can do, I mean, they are machines :S
I was made to sit out of several raids as 'backup' and it dawned on me, that I wasnt backup cause they had too many people, it was because I was comparatively crap! Also when they have the choice of inviting people who are they going to choose, the one who can listen on vent or the one who, not out of their choice, cant. I finally got the balls to talk to the GM about it, and we decided that I should probably gear up a bit more and re-apply to NS in the future. I was ok with this, and started looking for other guilds.
Then later I got /w by the shammy CL, he wasnt told everything about my reasons for leaving, but I found out some stuff... It turns out I was going to be asked to go elemental anyway, because in the one Ulduar run my healing was a lot lower than the other two healers... I was with a holy priest and resto shammy, both with a lot more gear and exp than me. But although I made no mistakes, and no one died, and I had hardly any overhealing (apart from the fights where I had to spam, just incase) They labeled me as a rather mediocre healer....
I have to admit, that HURT... I have fallen from grace really I suppose, I thought I was better than I really am, and thought I was ready to raid with the big boys... Im not...
They want me to stay though, I think mainly because im a girl and have a good sense of humor... They are offering me a chance in 25man raids to show what I am made of.
I don't know now whether I should take it or not... I know pride is a factor here, and mine has been bruised, but the fact that I wouldn't really be needed in NS bothers me a bit too. I mean, they already have 3 IMBA resto shammys, so I wouldnt be able to get noticed for that, they dont need me like smaller guilds have needed me for reliability as everyone is more dependable. And they have enough flask creators and cooks to not need me.
Im the kinda girl who likes to feel wanted or at least make my self useful.
So maybe I am more suited to more intimate guilds?
I think I will leave NS unless any of you have any advice or better ideas????
Help me sort out my mind lol!!!!!!
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